We are here to help you! Call us +855 405 2733
We are here to help you! Call us +855 405 2733
You cannot make someone want to recover. You can substantially change the odds that they get there, and there is real research on how — most of which contradicts what families are usually told.
The short version: connection works better than confrontation, specific requests work better than ultimatums, and looking after yourself is not selfishness but strategy. Family involvement is one of the strongest predictors of good treatment outcomes.
Axis Mental Health provides outpatient substance use and mental health treatment from Desert Hot Springs, California, serving the Coachella Valley, Riverside County and the wider Southern California region. Our care includes individual and group therapy, psychiatric medication management, dual-diagnosis treatment for co-occurring mental health conditions, and telehealth appointments anywhere in California.
We are an outpatient provider. We do not operate a medical detox or residential unit. If your assessment shows you need that level of care first, we will help you find a licensed program and pick your treatment up again the moment you step down.
Call (855) 405-2733 for a free, confidential consultation, or send us a message.
If the substance involved is an opioid, or anything that might be contaminated with fentanyl — which now includes counterfeit pills, cocaine and methamphetamine — get naloxone before you do anything else on this page.
Naloxone nasal spray is available over the counter without a prescription and free through California’s Naloxone Distribution Project and county harm-reduction programs. Keep it somewhere findable, and make sure other people in the household know where.
Signs of overdose: unresponsive, breathing very slowly or not at all, gurgling or snoring sounds, pinpoint pupils, blue or grey lips and fingertips.
What to do: call 911, give naloxone, repeat every two to three minutes if there is no response, support breathing, and stay with them.
Keeping naloxone in the house does not signal approval. It is a smoke detector.
Community Reinforcement and Family Training is the best-supported approach for family members, and it consistently outperforms both traditional intervention and Al-Anon at getting a resistant person into treatment — while also improving the family member’s own wellbeing. Its principles:
Timing. When they are sober, not hung over, not mid-crisis. Privately. When neither of you has to leave in ten minutes.
Structure that tends to work:
A boundary is a statement about what you will do, not a demand for what they must do. It is enforceable because it depends only on you.
Say them calmly, once, and then hold them. A boundary you enforce inconsistently is worse than none. And note that every example above keeps the door open — which is the point. The goal is a relationship they can return to.
The word gets thrown around carelessly. Enabling means actively removing the consequences that would otherwise prompt change: paying for the drugs, lying to employers, covering legal costs repeatedly, taking over all their responsibilities.
What is not enabling: loving them, staying in contact, keeping naloxone, letting them live at home under clear conditions, using syringe services, providing food and shelter to your own child. A dead person cannot recover. Harm reduction is not enabling — it is keeping the door open long enough for treatment to happen.
Family members of people with addiction have elevated rates of depression, anxiety, insomnia and stress-related illness. This is not a side issue.
Most people are not ready the first time, or the fifth. What to do meanwhile: keep the relationship intact, keep naloxone available, keep reinforcing the sober version of them, keep your boundaries steady, keep a treatment plan ready, and get your own support.
California’s involuntary options are narrow. A 5150 hold requires that someone be a danger to themselves or others, or gravely disabled, as a result of a mental health disorder — substance use alone generally does not qualify. Some California counties operate CARE Court for people with untreated serious mental illness, which can include co-occurring substance use. If someone is in immediate danger, call 911 and describe what you are seeing.
You do not need your family member to agree to anything before you call us. Axis Mental Health can talk through your situation, help you plan a conversation, tell you what an assessment involves so you can describe it accurately, treat your own anxiety or depression, and be ready to see them the day they say yes.
Rarely through force — California’s involuntary commitment options are narrow and generally do not cover substance use alone. What works is CRAFT: stay connected, reinforce sober behavior, stop cushioning consequences, make small specific asks, and have treatment lined up for the moment they waver. It is slower than an ultimatum and considerably more effective.
The surprise group confrontation model has weak evidence and can damage the relationship you need. A CRAFT-informed approach — sustained, calm, one-to-one — gets more people into treatment. If you do want a structured family meeting, do it with a clinician who is not going to stage an ambush.
Not by itself. Housing is not enabling — homelessness makes recovery drastically harder. What matters is the conditions: no use in the house, no money, contribution to the household, and a clear expectation about treatment. Housing plus structure is very different from housing plus rescue.
Age-appropriate truth. That the person is sick with something that affects the brain, that it is not the child’s fault, that it is not their job to fix it, and that they are safe and cared for. Silence does not protect children; they already know something is wrong and will fill the gap with self-blame.
Yes, and you should get it regardless. Al-Anon, Nar-Anon and SMART Recovery Family & Friends are free. Individual therapy helps with the anxiety, insomnia and grief that come with this. Call (855) 405-2733 — you can be the patient here.
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If this is an emergency, call 911. If you are in crisis or having thoughts of suicide, call or text 988 to reach the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline. For free, confidential treatment referrals 24 hours a day, call SAMHSA’s National Helpline at 1-800-662-4357.
This page is general health education, not medical advice, a diagnosis, or a treatment plan. Never stop or change a prescribed medication without speaking to a clinician first. Withdrawal from alcohol, benzodiazepines and barbiturates can cause seizures and can be fatal without medical supervision.